February is marketed as the month of love, but what if I’ve been deeply hurt by someone who was supposed to love me? They say it’s important to forgive (which is true), but how do I go about that? Isn’t that just letting the person “off the hook”?
It’s important to remember that often the person who wronged you doesn’t care if you forgive them or not. The person you’re actually releasing is yourself–from being handcuffed to the person or event(s) that hurt you.
Also, remember that it is a process that takes time. You can’t just flip a switch and forgive such deep hurt. You’re not required to forget, but hopefully the pain can fade into the background instead of being in your face all the time.
I want to show you a helpful video. Dr. Stephen Marmer, a psychiatrist at UCLA, describes three types of forgiveness. It’s only 5 minutes long, but I think you’ll find it’s worth watching.
If you find that this gets you thinking, and you’d like to talk to someone about it, give me a call.
I look forward to helping you feel better!
Katie Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor