Spring has sprung and with it comes a sense of hope–not wishful thinking, but knowing that flowers will bloom, grass will turn green, and changes can happen.  We don’t know exactly what those changes might look like or when they will take place, but there’s a renewed sense that it’s possible.  This is an example of how our thoughts can impact how we feel.

Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors color our experience of everyday life.  It would be nice if we could change our emotions as easily as changing the TV channel, but we can’t.  What we can do is adjust our thoughts and our behaviors, and they in turn change how we feel.  This works in both directions–the negative tends to happen almost automatically, while the positive takes a little more effort.  After first becoming more mindful of our thoughts and behaviors, we can then choose to think or behave differently, thereby changing how we feel.

Changes you can make today. Since it is spring and the weather is improving, I’d like to focus on changing some behaviors to take advantage of the nice days.  The #1 thing you can do for stress and all kinds of negative moods is to go for a walk.

The benefits of walking are endless, but I’ll list a few: getting out of the house/workplace/stressful situation, breathing in fresh air loaded with refreshing oxygen, using large muscle groups to improve circulation and get that oxygen to your brain, which leads to clearer thinking and improved ability to make healthy choices and decisions.  If you add to your walk by mindfully focusing on the things you see in nature, you give your mind an additional break from thinking about your stressors.

Another way to enjoy the outdoors is to simply sit outside, perhaps with a refreshing iced tea or comforting cup of coffee.  Pull up your sleeves to get a little extra benefit from the sun.  More studies are showing that the majority of us (especially those who live in the northern ⅔ of the US) are quite deficient in Vitamin D.  The warmth itself is also refreshing.  Make sure you’re not taking any medications that make you sun-sensitive (instant sunburn!).  Again, mindfully focus on the natural world to enhance mental break.

It can also help to open your windows and let the outdoors in.  This helps sweep away staleness, bacteria, and viruses that gather in closed up spaces during the cold weather.  Again, the theme here is refreshment.

What are some other areas in your life that need to be refreshed?  Stop for a minute to consider ways to do that as well.

If you’d like to talk more about a particular issue, I would be happy to meet with you personally. Just give me a call at 636-234-0035 and we’ll schedule a time to talk. My office is conveniently located in downtown Washington Missouri across from the Old Dutch Restaurant.

I look forward to helping you feel better!
Katie Walker, Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor
636-234-0035

January is a tough time of year for many people. The push of the holidays has faded to a letdown of “nothing much happening.” Whether it was the intense stress of preparation and difficult family relationships, or the rush of fun and excitement, there is a natural letdown when it’s all over. Combine that with cold temps and short hours of daylight, and we just want to hibernate like the wild animals.

Maybe they’re on to something there. While not hibernating completely, we could take the winter months a little more slowly.

Even in the business world, not much is happening. Sure, there is work to be done, but people are not interested in buying and selling much at this time of year. It’s the Winter Blahs.

So what to do about it? I recommend a two-pronged approach:
1) Acceptance first, and THEN
2) Decide if action is needed

Acceptance simply means getting your head around the reality that things are the way they are. This does not mean you like it; you just “get it.” And then you give yourself and others some grace to do things a little more deliberately. Perhaps not as much will get done around the house. Maybe your meals are simpler, but still healthy. (Start with whole, real foods, and then prepare them simply. Minimize processed foods whenever possible, as they put additional stress on your body.) You can keep in touch with your business contacts, yet realistically accept that they might not feel the need for much help or product over the next few weeks.

Action? After you accept the reality of the blahs, you then have the freedom to choose: Do I need to DO something to change my mood, or simply accept the way it is? Maybe it is enough to realize you’re not alone and to live accordingly. If you do choose to take action, I highly recommend some form of movement. Exercise is just about the only way to get more endorphins, those “feel good chemicals” in your brain. Bundle up and take a short walk. Chase your pets. You can even go up and down your stairs a couple times. Just get moving!

Taking action could also look like making a connection with a friend. Go out for coffee, take that walk with a neighbor, or call someone on the phone. Or you could try something new. If you’re interested in learning to knit, get some nice-feeling yarn and a set of needles, and then look on YouTube for a tutorial. Maybe you’ve never done weight training, so you go to a free demo at a local gym. The key is to nudge those feelings of interest and pleasure. Don’t expect a lot of excitement. Just focus on surviving these challenging months, knowing spring is sure to come.

If you’d like to talk more about a particular issue, I would be happy to meet with you personally. Just give me a call at 636-234-0035 and we’ll schedule a time to talk. My office is conveniently located in downtown Washington Missouri across from the Old Dutch Restaurant.

I look forward to helping you feel better!
Katie Walker, Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor
636-234-0035

First let me congratulate you. Taking a look at what you could do differently this year to make things flow more smoothly means that you are already making progress!

The overall theme to these tips will be “good enough.”

Ready? Let’s get started.

Tip #1 has two components that work together:
Remember that the holidays are supposed to be fun!  There are many activities that happen in only a few weeks, and sometimes it can feel like you are just going through the motions out of obligation. Besides the many fun events, be sure to include some down-time to relax and recharge, and to fully appreciate the season.

Also, whatever you are doing, do it mindfully: really take it in with all 5 senses, whether it’s the bustle of shopping and family dinners, the quiet of a fireplace and hot cocoa, or the joy and mess of baking cookies.  Take time to savor the many sights and sounds of the season.

My second tip for coping with the holidays has to do with managing all the obligations that can fill this time of year.

Tip #2:
Take a firm, objective look at your list: Do we have to do all these things?  What could we eliminate or shorten?  Say no to some activities.  Bake only 3 kinds of cookies instead of 12.  Make time to enjoy your decorated living room.  Plan time with extended family over the course of a week or two, instead of cramming it all into a couple days.

Some people might be shocked when you begin to set boundaries to care for yourself and your family, but these are your highest priority.  You want to look back with fondness on holidays past, which requires savoring each part now.

My third tip for coping with the holidays has to do with managing your time and interactions with extended family.

Tip #3:
When interacting with difficult people, it’s OK to allow them to be wrong sometimes.  It can be exhausting to constantly defend yourself and correct these people.  Certainly you don’t let hateful speech just stand, but if someone has a detail or two wrong, let it go.

Agree to disagree.  If talk becomes so negative that you must address it, do it briefly, kindly, and firmly.  “I don’t appreciate it when you call me that/tell that story/imply that about me.  Please stop.”

If things get bad enough, leave.  This is not rude when someone else has already been rude to you by crossing a boundary. Make plans for an easy exit if necessary: drive yourself, set a time limit, plan ahead of time to go somewhere else after the challenging event.

I hope you enjoyed these practical tips for dealing with the holidays.

If you’d like to talk more about a particular issue, I would be happy to meet with you personally. Just give me a call at 636-234-0035 and we’ll schedule a time to talk. My office is conveniently located in downtown Washington Missouri across from the Old Dutch Restaurant.

I look forward to helping you feel better!

Katie Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor
636-234-0035